Sick Days

I hate the feeling of helplessness that comes over you when you don't know what to do, when you don't know how to help someone to make them feel better.  Stuart is sick today, he's has been running a fever that we've been breaking, but it keeps coming back.  He hasn't eaten much today, and won't really let me get near him because he is afraid that I will catch whatever it is that he has contracted.  I wish I knew what to do to help him, we're on a tylanol and motrim regiment, and he has been sleeping for the last two hours, and has been laying down for the better part of the day, and it's not working!  It is making me so frustrated, every time I see him my heart is just breaking because I don't know how to help him.   You'd think my medical experience would do something, but when your "patient" doesn't want to, you can't force them.

I am so glad that I have an amazing mom, and mom-in-law, two exemplary women that I can call in time of need and get their advice! It helps to know that they've taken kids through this, and probably have felt the same heart wrenching feelings that I have felt. It is so strange to be so close to someone in this way. Whenever family and friends would get sick around me, yeah I would feel bad and do what I could do to help, but never feelings like this. Things change so much when you are married and you care for someone like you've never cared before. I try to put his feelings, wants, and desires first, way before mine, I don't think that is being a subservient wife, Sister Reese, back in 1984 wrote and article about being a wife in the Latter Day Saint center magazine called the, "Ensign," she said, 

"There are voices telling us that the role of wife and mother is a subservient one, that it is demeaning for a woman to live primarily for her home and family. We have become defensive if the career we have chosen is that of homemaking. We tend to become apologetic to those who proclaim that we cannot find self-fulfillment if our first priority is to be a wife and mother. There are truths in this gospel, taught from the scriptures, from the days of Adam and Eve, which assure us that wifehood and motherhood are ordained of God and are of first importance. We know that marriage is a partnership—an equal partnership with a division of duties—where neither male nor female is superior, where domination by either husband or wife is wrong."

I want to do these things to help my husband, he works so hard to provide for us, I feel that I should work equally hard at home.  Then when I get a job, we can divide the chores of the house.  We are in a partnership, we are equally helping, just in different ways, it doesn't mean that one task is more important!  I want a clean house and dinner, and my husband brings home the bacon so the have what I need to accomplish that task!

Anyways I don't know where I was going with that, I just know that many people feared that I would become this subservient wife because I was marrying into the "Mormon" religion, and when I tell them what I do with my days they believe that, but it is not true!  I think to be in "bondage" you need to also feel that way.  In no wise do I feel in such manner.

An official Church statement of July 1976 said: “There is no greater responsibility and opportunity, no task to which woman may put her hand, so broad and inspiring, so filled with interest, so demanding of intelligence and capability, so rewarding, as that of wife, mother and homemaker. But that does not mean all her activities must be confined to that important role."

I am working towards a BA degree, I help my friends and family, I am working to grow my confidence, and I love cooking!  I love being a wife and hopefully one day a mother.  I know how the world views motherhood, something that you need to break a "break" from periodically, but there is no break from it, you are what you were forordained to be.  A woman.  A daughter of our Heavenly Father.